Fitrah: Our Foundation for Empowered Parenting - By: Mehreen Tariq

Bassem Youssef has garnered admiration and affection from many through his thought-provoking comedy. The business of transforming hearts is not unfamiliar to Youssef, given his background as a cardiothoracic surgeon before embarking on a different professional path. Now, he employs a less invasive approach that not only resonates with audiences but has also filled his own heart with satisfaction.

When questioned about his choice to leave a flourishing medical career, one that many aspire to, Bassem Youssef candidly expressed, "I was qualified on paper. I was a good doctor, but here's the thing:. I was a heart surgeon, but my heart wasn't in it."

Bassem Youssef's journey of experiencing a successful yet unfulfilling life is just one among many. As we mature, deviating from our fitrah due to external pressures can lead us away from our authentic selves and inherent truth, prompting important questions:

What is our truth?

How do we uncover it?

How do we unlearn much of what society has taught us?

The answer lies in uncovering the path that leads us back to our fitrah.

We are born with fitrah, and within it lies our unique set of talents and gifts. However, not everyone has the opportunity to pursue them, resulting in a life misaligned with our true calling and passion. When individuals or societies grapple with authenticity, inadvertently suppressing their fitrah, diverse challenges can emerge.

Our authenticity, inherent qualities, and gifts are essential facets of the fitrah we are born with. Deviating from fitrah can lead to narratives like Bassem's. A life straying from fitrah may present numerous challenges for individuals and societies, including 

• a lack of fulfillment, 
• mental health struggles, 
• challenges in forming genuine relationships, 
• identity crises, 
• obstacles to innovation,
•  internal conflict, 
• resentment, loss of individuality, 
• stagnation, social injustice, 
• and potential health problems

Encouraging our truth and authenticity is vital for personal well-being, religious growth, and, in turn, societal progress.

It is crucial for us parents and caregivers to embark on our parenting journey guided by the wisdom of Allah and the teachings of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ regarding the child at birth. We already know that a child is born on fitrah. This knowledge provides us with a valuable starting point in parenting, but only if we consciously choose fitrah-based parenting.

Opting for this approach could spare us from significant challenges. The belief in fitrah refutes John Locke’s 'tabula rasa,' which posits that children are born as blank slates and acquire knowledge and characteristics through experiences and interactions. Therefore, Fitrah-based parenting provides us with a sturdy foundation.

Before delving further into this subject, let's revisit the term Fitrah.

What is Fitrah?

Fitrah, a fundamental concept in Islamic theology, denotes the innate disposition of human beings toward recognizing and worshipping Allah. This inherent nature is closely linked to the belief that individuals are born as Muslims, predisposed to acknowledge the oneness of Allah.

Allah emphasizes this concept in Surah Rum (30:30)

 "So be steadfast in faith in all uprightness, the natural Way of Allah which He has instilled in all people. Let there be no change in this creation of Allah. That is the Straight Way, but most people do not know."

The term "natural way" and the corresponding verse underscore the unchangeable nature of Allah's creation, emphasizing Fitrah as a foundational aspect upon which the correct religion is built. This concept reinforces the idea that individuals are inherently inclined to follow the path prescribed by Allah. Islam is commonly referred to as Dīn al-Fitrah, indicating that it is the religion in harmony with human nature.

Scholars assert that the Fitrah originates from the covenant that Allah made with humanity. This covenant is described as the Fitrah itself, present in every individual, taken from human beings when they were in the loins of their father Adam, as mentioned in the verse: Al-A'raf 7:172

"And when your Lord took from the children of Adam - from their loins - their descendants and made them testify of themselves, [saying to them], 'Am I not your Lord?' They said, 'Yes, we have testified'"  Al-A'raf 

Simplifying it, every individual is born with a unique code, a pattern that sets them apart, connecting them to the concept of tawhid through their covenant with Allah.

Fitrah a Muslim Parent’s Super Power

In Islamic tradition, disrupting or straying from Fitrah is discouraged, and nurturing it forms the cornerstone of effective parenting. Providing an environment aligned with a child's religious beliefs and innate disposition is key.

To excel as parents, comprehending Fitrah serves as our ultimate source of empowerment. Straying from fitrah -based parenting implies giving up this superpower. And who would want us to give it  away?

Shaytan.

While humans may have forgotten or distanced themselves from their covenant with Allah made on the Day of Alast, Shaytan remains unwavering in his commitment. He relentlessly focuses on fulfilling his promise to lead mankind astray, attempting to erase Fitrah from our parenting equation by invoking false desires and corrupting our fitrah.

Shaytan's mission is clear: alter or eliminate the concept of Fitrah from the parenting landscape to guide humanity down his path. Our present-day Fitrah roots itself in the Day of Alast, and to attain our optimum and join the ranks of the Muflihoon, honoring that promise is imperative.

Neglecting Fitrah in parenting inadvertently aids Shaytan in his plan. Our seemingly innocent choices as parents can accumulate, gradually leading us away from fitrah-based parenting. Embracing fitrah in Islamic parenting means aligning a child's environment with their inherent nature and religious beliefs, nurturing their unique talents, and avoiding the imposition of external aspirations

Now, the question arises: how can parents assist their children in identifying their Fitrah? In the face of Shaytan's well-laid plans, it is imperative for parents to have their own strategies. 

Let's delve into some ways to support Fitrah-based parenting

Growing a Child’s Fitrah:

• Fitrah Approach: A parent observes the child's natural inclinations and talents, whether it's artistic abilities, logical thinking, or empathy.

• Outcome: The child is encouraged to develop these talents, fostering a sense of purpose and fulfillment aligned with their innate disposition.

• Respecting Individual Choices:

• Fitrah Approach: Parents allow children to express their interests and preferences within the boundaries of Islamic values.

• Outcome: The child feels understood and supported, promoting a healthy self-identity and confidence.

• Nurturing Islamic Values:

• Fitrah Approach: The parent integrates Islamic teachings into daily life, fostering a love for Allah and a genuine understanding of Islamic principles.

• Outcome: The child develops a strong moral compass and a deep connection to their faith, influencing their decisions positively.

• Now, let's take a look at ways parents actually play a role in destroying their child’s Fitrah..

Suppressing a Child’s  Fitrah:

• Imposing Career Choices:

• Non-Fitrah Approach: A parent forces a particular career path on a child, disregarding the child's interests and aptitudes.

• Outcome: The child may feel unfulfilled and resentful, leading to a potential career dissatisfaction and inner conflict.

• Enforcing Strict Ideological Beliefs:

• Non-Fitrah Approach: Parents rigidly impose specific ideologies without allowing room for the child to question or understand.

• Outcome: The child may grow up with a shallow understanding of their beliefs, leading to potential rebellion or resentment.

• Ignoring Emotional Needs:

• Non-Fitrah Approach: Parents dismiss the child's emotional needs or impose unrealistic expectations without considering their mental well-being.

• Outcome: The child may struggle with emotional issues, potentially affecting their mental health and overall happiness in adulthood.

Recognizing and embracing a child's Fitrah, instead of stifling it, is paramount for their spiritual and mental health.It plays a pivotal role in fostering a profound sense of purpose, happiness, contentment, and alignment with Islamic principles. This, in turn, significantly contributes to the child's overall long-term success in both worlds.

Let our choices as parents be guided by a steadfast commitment to nurture and uphold Fitrah, ensuring that the unique parental influence of Fitrah remains intact.